Why does pornography damage all our relationships so much?
Important questions to reflect on:
What does watching pornography about a precious daughter of God make a person feel?
Doesn’t this cause him to see her as a “sex” object, rather than as a beloved daughter of God? Would you like to put images and thoughts in her mind that train her to see God’s precious daughters as sex objects, rather than as a precious, beloved daughter of God with infinite worth and potential? Considering how much God loves each of His daughters (and sons) for the unique and special people with amazing potential that they are, what does God think about pornography and those who view it?
How does watching pornography affect your relationship with God?
And with yourself?
And with your present or future wife?
Even if you’re able to hide your pornography addiction from your current or future wife for a while, she’ll feel that your love isn’t as real or sincere as it should be, won’t she?
And eventually you’ll get caught up in your pornography addiction, won’t you?
Isn’t the best and wisest way to avoid addictions? Avoiding them like the plagues they are and never using the addictive substance or thing even once?
With pornography, that’s harder than with alcohol, drugs, or tobacco, isn’t it?
– – — because Hollywood, and others in the financially lucrative industry of pornography and sleaze flood the world with it – – – almost everywhere you look, right? For example, my own younger sister, who owns a home near a well-known Southern California beach, expressed that although her family loves the beach, she hates taking her five children to the beach in the summer because of the walking pornography that is everywhere you look, with so many women wearing bathing suits that barely cover much of their private parts. On most beaches, it is illegal to walk around completely nude, but many people seem to try to get as close to nudity as they can legally, without getting arrested for it. So don’t be discouraged if on occasion your eyes have caught glimpses here and there of pornography. Unfortunately, in these modern times, the devil and his team have portrayed this in magazines, movies, billboards, and on girls walking around in skimpy clothes, all in an attempt to damage families and relationships, and to sully profits/money. Hollywood and the rest of the seedy industry try to convince God’s precious daughters that it is fashionable and beautiful to publicly display as many of their private body parts as legally possible.
Powerful quote to reflect on from Jesus Christ:
“You have heard that it was said to those long ago, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28
That quote from Jesus makes it clear that He knows that pornography is to be avoided like the worst plague, and that it is very spiritually damaging.
I don’t think a person should say to themselves, “Well, I’ve already committed adultery in my heart, so I might as well do it in action.” And I don’t think Jesus is saying here that committing adultery in the heart is as bad as actually committing adultery, but he is making it clear that viewing pornography and thinking pornographically is very damaging, wrong, and bad for our inner peace, joy, and relationships. We live in far more pornographic times today than when Jesus lived on earth. Surely, any wise person can easily recognize that viewing pornography seriously damages a person’s ability to see God’s daughters as deeply loved “daughters of God.”
True story: About 35 years ago, while in a meeting with other insurance agents, one agent expressed to our small group during a break that his teenage daughter had asked him to please stop receiving the Playboy magazine subscription that was delivered to their home. He didn’t seem to understand why this was important to her and had no intention of stopping receiving and viewing it. Do you understand why his daughter would be extremely uncomfortable if her father saw the pornography in Playboy magazines… that makes daughters of God look like mere sex objects? Do you understand that her father viewing pornography would make a daughter or wife feel that their sacred family relationships are not as trustworthy and secure?
Pornography addiction has become a much bigger problem in recent years, as millions of people are lured into viewing internet pornography on their cell phones and computers, where they falsely believe they won’t be caught, thus severely damaging the trust in their marriage and family relationships. Isn’t it true? Pornography is very often a major factor that drives a foolish husband to have an affair?
Do you recognize that many scientific studies have shown that pornography is one of the most powerful and damaging mind-altering addictions of all?
Why do people almost always watch pornography in private where no one will see them doing it?
For the same reason people try to hide their thefts, cheating, and lying: because they know and feel that it is wrong, dirty, sordid, and unacceptable to God and all decent and wise people. In every area of life, we can feel within our inner spirit a part of ourselves—the Light of Christ, as God’s inner guide, regarding right versus wrong, good versus evil, etc.; isn’t that true?
It is completely impossible to do wrong and feel good about it within your inner spirit – – – even if you do it in private. – – – therefore, viewing pornography seriously damages even a person’s relationship and trust with themselves – – – and with God, their family, and everyone else.
Some boys/men think they can hide their pornography addictions from their girlfriends or wives, but they always get caught eventually, and then their spouse feels betrayed – – – as if their husband is “cheating” on them and is stuck seeing the woman as a “sex object,” instead of a precious and wonderful child of God.
And they will never be able to hide their sinful behavior from God, not even for a minute.
Isn’t the wisest choice to always give our best daily effort to follow the teachings of God and His Son, Jesus Christ, as taught in the Bible?
Pornography seems to be a more common problem among men than women, but it’s also becoming a problem among women. Sadly, many women are succumbing to peer pressure to become walking pornography themselves, just as peer pressure pushes them to dress immodestly. It has become much more difficult to find modest clothing and swimwear for women.
Some questions for you ladies:
As a daughter of God, do you want your future husband to see you and other women as sexual objects, or do you want him to value you as the amazing daughter of God you are on the inside?
If you choose to date or marry a man who is addicted to pornography and has therefore developed the horrible habit of viewing women as sexual objects, how will that affect your marriage relationship?
Do you recognize that the best marriages are based on trust and a best friend relationship?
Yes, it’s good for a married couple to feel a certain mutual attraction and a passion for enjoying emotional, spiritual, and physical closeness and intimacy; but isn’t it true that pornography will damage that attraction to one’s spouse and the trust in the marriage relationship, rather than enhance it?
Why do so many women give in to peer pressure to become “walking pornography,” the way they dress immodestly – – – seemingly trying to attract the attention of people who are addicted to pornography and who already see God’s daughters as mere sex objects?
Do you recognize that if you dress immodestly, you’ll attract the wrong kind of guys who will see you more as a sex object? – – – and by scaring away the right kind of guys, who would make a better, more trustworthy, and loving husband?
Do you realize that it’s incredibly uncomfortable and difficult for guys trying not to watch pornography when so many of you ladies choose to dress in a way that makes you become walking pornography, and that makes you look like you want to be seen as sex objects? Or, I guess, many women just think it’s fashionable and cool to dress immodestly in the way trashy magazines portray it as glamorous and beautiful.
Wouldn’t you rather from this day forward be seen as a daughter of God of infinite worth than dress in a way that attracts attention as a sexual object?
As a wise and beautiful Sister of our Church taught, “The way you dress can say, ‘I respect myself,’ or ‘I’m for sale.'” Which will you choose?
Please trust that if you have a beautiful, well-cared-for body, guys will notice it, even if you don’t dress immodestly. In fact, they’ll be very impressed that you look so stylish and fit without needing to try to show off your partially naked body. And if you don’t have as beautiful a physical body as some people; don’t worry about it, just take good care of your body with good nutrition and exercise, and let the light in your eyes and face shine with the kind and loving gift of a smile that you share with everyone you meet. A good man will be impressed with your kindness, gentleness, kindness, and friendship, and you may be blessed with joyful and loving relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Many women would like to have a beautiful body and movie star appearance.
Do you recognize that an incredibly beautiful body can be a blessing or a curse, depending on your relationship with God and others?
Too often, the most beautiful cheerleaders, prom queens, and other beautiful ladies are pursued by the wrong social types, who pursue them for all the wrong reasons.
I knew a wealthy young man at our church in his early 20s who tried to hide his wealth from the women he dated, so he knew they weren’t interested in him just for his money. However, if a woman has a beautiful body, it’s harder to hide it from the guys she’s dating, so she can know they’re truly interested in who she is on the inside, not just chasing her because she happens to have a beautiful shell.
Remember that God taught us in the Bible that “the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7.
God can help good men and women appreciate us for who we are inside our inner spiritual self – – – not just whether or not we were born with a near-perfect, flawless body that is beautiful on the outside. Thousands of people who were not born with beautiful bodies are blessed by God with wonderful, loving, trusting marriage relationships that are far better than the fake Hollywood relationships of the rich and famous with their beautiful bodies, which usually end in pain, suffering, and divorce.
Certainly, our loving and just Heavenly Father does not and will never bless any individual with greater love, joy, inner peace, etc. just because they were born with a beautiful, near-perfect body, does He? That wouldn’t be fair or right, would it?
If God doesn’t judge you for not being born with a nearly perfect, beautiful body, then why should you and I judge ourselves for such things?
God taught us in the Bible that our body is a temple and that we have a sacred responsibility to take good care of it.
Isn’t it the best fashion statement? That we do everything in our power to nourish our bodies and keep them as fit and healthy as possible, and to always wear a friendly smile and a positive, loving countenance?
With the absolutely amazing body God gave us and entrusted to us, which is worth far more than a billion dollars; shouldn’t we do everything possible to give it proper nutrition and exercise – – – and not disfigure it with body piercings and tattoos that are very hard to remove later when you discover that this is not how God intended you to disfigure your amazing body? You wouldn’t put a bunch of ugly, distracting bumper stickers or body piercings all over an incredibly beautiful and expensive sports car, would you? – – – – Or on Miss America contestants?
Some questions to reflect on, for you men:
How important is it that your future wife can trust that you are and always will be truly loyal to her?
If you watch pornography and become addicted to it, will your future wife be comfortable with it and feel that you are truly loyal to her?
So if you have a pornography problem, you’re going to try to hide it from them for as long as you can, knowing that, of course, you’ll eventually get caught, and then the trust in your relationship will surely be severely damaged, right?
Do you recognize that with God’s help all things are possible – – – including overcoming and forever abandoning any addictive bad habit such as pornography, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, lying, cheating, cruelty, anger, abuse, etc.?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you chose today, with God’s constant help, to overcome all your addictive bad habits, so that you can prepare yourself to build and maintain much more joyful and satisfying relationships in the future?
Isn’t it wisest to respectfully help our young people choose to avoid pornography and other addictive things throughout their lives like the plague they are?
With today’s computers and cell phones, pornography will be everywhere you look, even if you try to avoid it; but you are always free to quickly click away and look away from it—instead of dwelling on it—and set up blockers on your computers and cell phones to try to block it.
Remember the old song about “for your eyes only” as in a committed, private marriage relationship – – – not for one spouse to dress immodestly, to attract the attention of those in public who see them as the pornography that many women become? – – which is usually due to peer pressure and Hollywood teachings and bad morals spread everywhere. Of course, for a married couple who trust and love one another; it is very natural and normal, and even expected by God, for them to share emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy with one another. It is part of following God’s command and the loving teachings of the Bible that “a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” Bible: Genesis 2:24-25.
For those who use pornography (or steal, cheat, lie, abuse others, etc.), how does this affect each of your relationships with God, yourself, your spouse, your children, and others?
It definitely causes severe damage to each of those relationships, doesn’t it?