“How could our Church be good and true if some members in our ancient history practiced polygamy?”
“But, Elder Hunt, what about polygamy? If a small percentage of your church members had more than one wife, way back during part of your church’s early history up until 1890, about 130 years ago, how is it possible that your church and all its members aren’t all evil?”
Please pause to consider that there are several books in the Bible that God brought to us through prophets and other men who had more than one wife, such as Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, and Solomon. This is certainly clear proof that God can give us parts of His word or revelations through men who had more than one wife, is it not? That part of the Bible’s history is difficult for most of us Christians to understand, as some of those who wrote parts of the Bible had more than one wife. And yes, so is that part of the past history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. No plural marriages were performed in our church after October 6, 1890, that is, 133 years ago. So why judge ourselves and our members for something that a small percentage of our church members did over 130 years ago?
My wife and I are thankful that God has not asked us to live in polygamy, and I am thankful that no one in our church has been required or even allowed to practice polygamy over the past 130 years. There are a couple of small groups in the United States that do practice polygamy in recent years, and the media often refers to them as “Mormons,” but none of them are members of our church. Even the Book of Mormon teaches against polygamy, except when the Lord commands it in isolated situations, as quoted below from the prophet Jacob:
“Therefore, my brothers, listen to me and hear the word of the Lord: For among you no man shall have but one wife, and a concubine none; for I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And fornication is an abomination to me, thus says the Lord of Hosts. Therefore this people shall keep my commandments, says the Lord of Hosts, or the land shall be cursed for them. For if I will raise up seed for myself, says the Lord of Hosts, I will command my people; otherwise, my people shall obey these things.” Jacob 2:27-30
As you can read above, in the Book of Mormon, the prophet Jacob made it clear that no one should have more than one wife, except in certain cases where God may command His people to practice polygamy for a time, for example, to “raise up seed for me/Him.”
The first part of that teaching about devoting oneself solely to one’s one wife is easy for us Church members to understand, and we love it. Truth be told, the second part of that Book of Mormon teaching—and also that principle from the prophets who gave us parts of the Bible—is much harder for us to grasp and feel comfortable with. It’s not that God would ever ask any of his people to have and care for more than one wife. Many people in these modern times don’t want to take on the great responsibility (and joy) of taking good care of even one wife, so they choose never to marry.
For the small percentage of our church members who were asked to care for more than one wife during the early days of our church, it was also initially very uncomfortable and difficult to understand and be willing to practice. Most of us find it quite difficult to keep a wife happy financially, with her financial, emotional, and other needs at all times. Imagine how difficult and complicated it would be for a husband and wife to be asked to care for another wife? I have never met anyone in our church who wanted to be asked to care for more than one wife.
My dear wife and I, and all the members of our church that I know, are so thankful that no one in our Church has been asked to practice polygamy for the past 130 years. I really don’t fully understand why God asked Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and other prophets of the Bible, or some men in our Church for part of the century, to have and care for more than one wife.
The following experiences help me understand in some way why God might in certain situations ask some people to care for more than one wife:
My 30-Day Survival Class/Experience at BYU (Brigham Young University): When I was a student at BYU, they offered a 30-day survival class, where our group spent 30 days learning how to survive and work together in the remote high desert area of Southern Utah, near the small town of Boulder. There were about 20 amazing, tough, classy, righteous young women in our group and 10 good, kind-hearted young men. Our group became incredibly close friends during those 30 days, as we worked together trying to survive and help each other, and did a lot of reflecting and praying about our lives and our futures. I remember toward the end of those 30 days the thought occurred to me; – – – What if our little group was stranded forever in a remote location, instead of just for 30 days? Doesn’t each of these 20 good, righteous ladies one day deserve a good, righteous husband? Yet half of them would never get that chance if there were twice as many women as men, right? I remember thinking that I could finally understand a little why, in certain situations, God might want a good and righteous man to care for more than one wife. What if, in the place of greatest reward in Heaven, for example, which we call the Celestial Kingdom, there were roughly twice as many good and righteous women who qualified to be there as there were men? Like there were twice as many women as men in our survival group, because it seems to be easier and more natural for women to develop the Christian qualities of true compassion, concern, selfless service, true love, forgiveness, kindness to all, and so on. Consider that God taught in the Bible that it is not good for a man (or woman) to be alone. Could God, in a situation like that, ask some good and righteous men to care for more than one wife?
Another Experience: About 52 years ago, when I was a young teenager, around 1972, I heard a very interesting talk in our large Church youth group, by a very sweet, very old lady, about 90 years old, who would have been born around 1880, that is, about 10 years before our church leaders stopped performing plural marriages in 1890. Her father was one of the early apostles and later a prophet in our church, Joseph F. Smith. Her father had several wives and she talked about the peaceful, super-loving home life she grew up in as a child. She talked about polygamy – – – not to endorse it in our time, but to help people understand that she believed that during the early history of our church, God had stood by it and asked some good, righteous men like her father, to marry and care for more than one wife. She said that some people try to say that polygamy was bad and selfish, but that her kind-hearted father was amazingly fair, kind, and sweet to each of his wives and each of his children, and that there was amazing love and peace among them all in the large, loving family she grew up in. She talked about how they had very close homes for the different wives, and that each of the other wives was also very kind and loving to her and each other. I think she said she called the sister wives her aunts.
Powerful Quote to Ponder: “Personal integrity is who you really are and who God knows you to be. Reputation is what others say you are, which may or may not be true.” – – – especially in the case of the massive amounts of false negative slander against some of our former Church leaders and our Church members as a whole by the devil and his team of false slanderers. They attempt to give a bad reputation and negative perception about every leader and member of our Church. A few months ago, I saw a Facebook post from someone claiming that “Brigham Young had a horrible reputation for how he treated women, especially his own wives,” – – – and yes, according to the devil and his team of false slanderers against our Church; they have invented and spread all sorts of assorted lies to try to destroy his reputation. Brigham Young was the second prophet of our Church, and he is our first prophet (best known for having a large number of wives, and Anti-Mormons have been spreading horrible false lies about him and others in our Church regarding plural marriage) and other fabricated issues. However, if you study the real, true facts about Brigham Young, you will realize that he was a man of the highest personal integrity and treated women with the utmost respect, especially his wives. Here are some true facts and direct quotes about Brigham Young from those who knew him best, such as his own children and wives. Do you agree with the false negative slander that Anti-Mormons have been teaching about Brigham Young for the past 180 years? Years? – Absolutely not! Below are some actual quotes from people who knew Brigham Young best, from the book “Brigham Young, An Inspiring Personal Biography” by Susan Evans McCloud:
(on page 1-2) “He was a strong… patriarch who was vitally interested in every aspect of his family’s life and welfare, keeping a private shop for the use of his own household, maintaining an ‘open door policy’ with his fifty-six children so as to be available to them at a moment’s notice should they come seeking his assistance.” He was so affectionate and understanding, wrote his fifty-first child, Clarissa, “that we always looked forward to him coming among us and sharing our pleasures and amusement.”
“Brigham’s daughter, Clarissa, was effusive in her expressions of affection for him: “No child ever loved, revered, and cherished a father more than I did mine, but how could I otherwise, knowing him as I did? My mother considered him the embodiment of all that was good and noble. . . . He was the wisest, kindest, most loving father. His constant concern for our happiness and welfare endeared him to us all. The bond between my father and me was as close as if I had been his only child, and I am sure all the other children felt the same. I shall always be grateful to have been born his daughter.”
(On pages 108-109.) After Brigham was first asked to experience plural marriage, he said, “It was the first time in my life that I desired the grave, and I could hardly get over it for a long time. And when I saw a funeral, I became envious of the corpse in its situation and regretted that it was not in the coffin.” . . . “Because of its nature, it was essential for Brigham to reason for himself, explore every aspect and feature, and then make an informed, intelligent, and dedicated decision, from which he would never retreat. Shortly after adopting the practice, he was given an opportunity to debate the issue with a professor (minister) at a southern college. . . . Brigham said, “We see in this life that among Christians, ministers, and all classes of men, a man will marry one wife and have children by her; She dies, and he marries another, and another, until the men have had up to six wives, and each of them has children. The Christian world considers this to be fine, since a man has only one at a time. Now, at the resurrection, this man and all his wives and children are raised from the dead; what will be done with these women and children, and to whom will they belong? And if the man gets only one, which of the lots will it have? His listener realized the effectiveness of his argument, so Brigham continued: “Very well,” I said, “you consider that to be a pure and holy place in the presence of God, the angels, and heavenly beings. If the Lord would allow anything to exist in His presence in heaven, what is wrong? And if it is right for a man to have several wives and children in heaven at the same time, is it not consistent doctrine that a man should have several wives and children by those wives at the same time, here in this life? As was the case with Abraham and many of the ancient Prophets? Or is it more sinful to have several wives at once than at different times?” This reasoning satisfied the minister and Brigham as well.”
On pages 248–249: “Once, when her daughter (Clarissa) asked her mother how she handled everything that was asked of her, she replied, ‘If your father weren’t the most wonderful man in the world, I couldn’t do it.’
(On page 250): “Susa’s words ring with a depth and sincerity that cannot be denied: “In all my life in that beloved home I never heard my father speak an unkind or irritable word to one of his wives. . . . I never heard one of my father’s wives chastise or correct another wife’s children. I heard the children fight, naturally, but very little, for we were not a contentious family. Much less did I hear or see anything but the utmost courtesy and kindness between my father and his wives. He corrected his children, but each with a dignity and deliberation that did not humiliate the child or lower his own self-respect. . . No other fact of my father’s life was such a profound proof of his true nobility and greatness as his home life and the influence he there radiated.” . . . “Only such consistency, based on high and pure principles, could have moved Susa (Brigham’s daughter) to observe and record: “His beautiful courtesy was never more evident than when he approached any of his wives whom he loved and who loved him.”
I have prayerfully studied the real life and teachings of Brigham Young, and I am deeply impressed by his teachings and his example of sharing kindness, love, and selfless service with as many of God’s children as he could. I believe he lived a very dedicated life and did his best to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ in every area of his life.
Have you noticed that you ladies, by nature, are much more emotional and have more emotional needs than us men? Have you heard and reflected on the quote, “A happy wife equals a happy life”? – – – that is, if a man is able, with all his best efforts, to meet the emotional and physical needs of his wife, etc., and keep her happy; then the husband and children will also normally be very happy and at peace, making for a “happy home.” Aren’t you as impressed as I am that Brigham Young was amazingly successful in meeting the emotional and physical needs of his multiple wives and 56 children? He must have been quite the honorable, kind, just, loving, impressive, hard-working, and attentive husband and father, as best described by those who knew him, which is the complete opposite of what the devil and his team describe. How many of us could actually keep multiple wives happy and satisfied each day, in order to enjoy a happy home? Would it not be wise to rely on the words of those who knew Brigham Young and Joseph Smith best, much more than to rely on the falsely negative slanders about them by anti-Mormons?
“Some may also ask: How could our Church be good and true if there was a period in our history when Black people were not ordained to the priesthood?”
A powerful quote to ponder from the Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 26:33: “He (God) inviteth all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that cometh unto him, white and black, bond and free, male and female; and he doth remember the heathen; and all are equal before God, both Jew and Gentile.”
Some have accused our church of being prejudiced against Black people because, for a time, they were not ordained to the priesthood or leadership positions in our Church. During our church’s early history, during the 1830s, most of our church members had gathered in Jackson County, Missouri. During those years, our members were accused of having too much compassion and love for Black people, who in those days were treated horribly in many parts of the United States, and were even bought and sold as slaves in 15 slave states, including Missouri, where most of our members had gathered. With so many members of our church settling in Missouri, many who supported slavery panicked that all our church members who moved there would oppose and vote against slavery, which is true, because we have always believed, as taught in the Book of Mormon, that “all are equal before God.” One of the reasons all members of our church were forcibly removed from Missouri in the middle of a cold winter in 1838 was our compassion and love for the Black people, and the fact that we opposed slavery. Some brave members of our Church were severely mistreated and beaten in Missouri when they dared to appear at one of the polls after being threatened with not daring to vote or suffering severe abuse.
During that part of American history, many people were able to get away with abusing and even murdering both Black people and members of our church without many, if any, legal consequences.
There was a time in the Old Testament portion of the Bible when only Levites were ordained to the priesthood. It is true that during the early history of our church, Black people were not ordained to the priesthood, but we, the members of our church, were delighted and deeply grateful; when the Revelation came out from our church leaders on June 8, 1978, announcing that: “All our worthy brethren may receive the priesthood, and witnessing the faithfulness of those who have been denied the priesthood, we have long and earnestly pleaded on behalf of these, our faithful brethren, . . . pleading with the Lord for divine guidance. He has heard our prayers and, by revelation, has confirmed that the long-promised day has arrived when every faithful and worthy male member of the Church may receive the holy priesthood, with power to exercise its divine authority and enjoy the holy priesthood. . . Accordingly, all worthy male members of the Church may be ordained to the priesthood without regard to race or color.”
One of the fastest-growing areas in our church in recent years is among Black people on the African continent. Church growth in Africa has continued at a strong pace for the past 30 years, with around 750,000 Church members there now, and it continues to grow very rapidly. Our church leaders teach us to show love and kindness toward every precious and beloved child of God throughout the world, of every color, race, nationality, etc.