Is Trust the most important foundation of all good relationships?
“Is Trust the most important foundation of all good relationships?”
True Quote to ponder on: “To be trusted is more important than to be loved” by a modern day prophet of God, David O. McKay If someone gives more effort and focus on trying to “be loved” by others, than to simply do what is right, good, honest, and kind before God and their fellow men; then they will likely resort to being dishonest at times, in order to try to feel accepted and loved, and to pridefully look better than they are. It is not our job or responsibility to “be loved” anyway, and if we press others to love us, it will push them away, not attract them to us. It is our responsibility to follow the teachings and example of Jesus Christ, and be a loving, kind, and cheerful friend toward others, and one of the natural results of that will be that we will be blessed with many truly trusting and loving relationships.
One of the reasons why the devil and his team try so very hard to tempt us to be dishonest, and why God places so much emphasis in the Bible, on us wisely choosing to be honest and trustworthy; is because no family relationships or other relationships can be at a higher love level than the trust level. So, if someone chooses to develop a habit of dishonesty, then how can they ever enjoy truly trusting relationships, – – – unless they choose to repent (meaning truly change in right and good permanent ways), and seek to feel of the true joyful principles and values and power to do what is good and right that comes into our lives when we prayerfully seek to connect with God and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Questions to ponder on: Do I really need to be honest and trustworthy and kind in all of my dealings; – – if I want to enjoy a life of enjoying truly trusting and loving long-term relationships with God, self, family members and others? Building truly trusting relationships is not just about being honest in all of your dealings, but also being as kind, respectful, and caring as you can in all of your interactions and relationships with others. A person may be very honest and open – – – in telling you all of the things they don’t like about you and your actions, but that kind of honesty is just painful and mean, and obviously does not build a trusting and loving relationship.
Can I build truly trusting and loving relationship by faking and pretending to be honest, kind, and trustworthy? Isn’t it hard in these modern days, to be honest and fair and kind in all of our dealings? – – Actually it is not really as hard as it may sound, because it feels so much better inside as God helps and blesses us with increased real love, joy, and inner-peace, and because it works so very well to help us build truly trusting and loving relationships.
Many people fall for the temptations from the devil and his team to do dishonest things to get good grades in school, or to get ahead financially – – – not realizing that no matter how much dishonest money they get that way, it will not bring them any real joy or good and trusting relationships. Considering that trust is the foundation of all quality relationships with God, self, family members and others; do you see why it is so very important that we choose at a young age to give our best efforts to be completely honest in all of our dealings with all people? Regardless of your age; do you recognize the importance of choosing to be completely honest in all of your dealings with everyone from this day forward? – – – – if you want to start enjoying more trusting and joyful relationships?
Isn’t it true that everyone wants to be trusted? – – – even selfish dishonest crooks, who want to steal from us, want us to trust them, so that they can more easily steal from us, right? But, not everyone is willing or wise enough to pay the price and effort of being truly honest and kind and fair, in all of their dealings to truly earn the trust of others. Obviously, no amount of money can buy trust, right? The price of trust is paid and earned by a wise person, committing and following through in building habit patterns of being honest and kind in all of their dealings and relationships. It does not work for a person to pick and choose in which areas and relationships they will be honest, and in which relationships they will be dishonest.
Even a dishonest person, may be able to deceptively get a few people to trust them for a short time, but then before long, they will be caught in their lies, and whatever “fake” relationships they thought they had, will end in pain and suffering. How long can a dishonest person get away with “faking” it, before they are caught in their dishonesty and lack of being worthy of the trust of others? They can never be trusted by God or even themselves if they are not truly honest and trustworthy, and before long no one close to them will trust them if they are dishonest and not worthy of trust. If you spend a fair amount of time with anyone, and start noticing that they are dishonest or mean toward others, then of course, you soon figure out that they can not truly be fully trusted by you or anyone else, right?
Do you want short-term relationships that end in pain and suffering, or are you willing to be honest and kind in all of your dealings, so you can enjoy trusting and loving relationships? In business, a dishonest person, may manipulate people, to get those little green papers (money) from innocent people by deception and lies, but it will bring no inner-peace and real joy. And eventually they will get caught in their dishonesty, and their lives and relationships will fall apart. And even their business will likely fall apart, as customers sense or discover clear proof, that they are not honest and trustworthy.
The devil and his team, will try to convince you that it is O.K. to lie a little or a lot, here and there – – – as long as you are careful and don’t get caught in your lies. Don’t ever forget that the devil and his team live by lies, deception, and manipulation, and they have no joyful, trusting, or loving relationships. God and his team members wisely choose to live by honest and trustworthy and loving principles, because it is the right thing to do, and so they can and surely will enjoy far more trusting, joyful, loving and uplifting relationships. Which team do you choose to be on? – – – God’s honest and kind team or the devil’s dishonest and unfair team? One lie and dishonest action leads to another. The wisest choice is to just choose to be honest in all of your dealings.
I believe that almost everyone would eventually like to some day get married when they find the right compatible match. Do you want to be married to someone who is honest and kind and will be faithful to you and the marriage covenant, or dishonest and mean? And if you want to marry an honest person, then you should also choose to be an honest person, so you will be a good and deserving match for each other, right? Do you realize that if the person you are dating is dishonest and mean with others at times; that he will also be dishonest and mean with you at times in the future?
I am convinced that every single commandment from our loving Father in Heaven is beautifully designed to help us build more trusting and loving relationships with Him, with self, with family members and others. For example, His clear and firm commandment in the Bible and Book of Mormon and by modern day prophets and apostles, that we have no sexual relations outside of marriage, is amazingly helpful for building far more trust, unity, and love in the marriage relationship. All studies have proven that marriages are far more likely to last and be joyful when the two saved all physical intimacy to be shared only between husband and wife, in a committed marriage relationships. Isn’t it obvious and true that if someone follows that clear commandment from God before marriage to have no sexual relations outside of marriage; that he will be far more likely to follow that commandment to be true and faithful to their spouse after marriage? What greater gift can a person give to their future spouse than to save all physical intimacy to only ever be shared between a committed husband and wife within the God ordained covenant of marriage? If you have messed up on this wise commandment from God, in the past; He lovingly offers you an opportunity to become a re-cycled virgin today, – – – if you repent (which means truly wisely change with God’s help), and commit to never ever again have any physical intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage.
God puts super high value on family life, including with a committed, loving, and trustworthy father and mother, who work unitedly together to raise a righteous and joyful family centered on the beautiful teachings of Jesus Christ. Below is some super clear counsel on this crucial subject from modern day prophets and apostles of God:
THE FAMILY
The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.
The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.
We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.
This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.”
Questions for youth or any single person to ponder on: When you someday get married, how much trust, respect, and love do you want to enjoy in your future marriage relationship? How will you choose to live now, to prepare yourself to be blessed with that much trust and love in your future marriage? How kind and unselfish will you be in your family relationships with your parents and siblings now and with others – – – as you work on building habits of treating your family members you live with now with kindness, respect, self-control, and love; so that it will become a natural habit for you to treat your future wife or husband that same way after get married? How important will it be that you wisely date and marry someone who has also wisely developed habits of treating everyone with kindness, respect, and love? (Please understand: That does not mean that we should not respectfully, but firmly, set boundaries of protection with certain abusive people, who happen to be family members, and refuse to make needed changes of getting off of all addictive mind-altering and relationship-destroying substances, and habits of abuse, etc.)
Can the degree of Love and intimacy and open-ness in a marriage relationship ever be at a higher lever than the degree of trust? – – – obviously not, right? Isn’t it true that all of God’s commandments, were designed by Him to make our relationships more trusting, joyful and loving?
When is the wisest time to decide to be completely honest and kind in all of your dealings? – – – that is a crucial principle to help our children learn at as young of an age as possible, right? – – – before they develop bad habits in that area. If a parent chooses to get angry at their child when they catch them doing something wrong, instead of wisely and lovingly counseling with them about wiser and more joyful choices; then the child may learn to be dishonest, out of fear, right? If you don’t want your children to fear you, and to therefore choose to be dishonest and hide the truth from you; to try to protect themselves from your angry wrath; then it would be wise to never choose anger, wouldn’t it? Firm consequences, meted out in love and fairness, when a child has chosen to go against a family rule that the family members together set up, are fine and good, but anger is never a wise or helpful choice.
The quickest way to lose all trust in your relationships, is to get hooked on mind altering drugs, including alcohol. No wonder God gave us the Word of Wisdom Revelation from the prophet Joseph Smith, in Doctrine and Covenants Section 89 as wise guidance to stay away from those things. The devil and his team will give you the first dose of super expensive fentanyl or cocaine, etc. for “free”, because they know that you will become their slave if they can get you hooked on those powerful addictive drugs, because they know you will become totally dishonest, and do any horrible thing to get the money, to keep buying those expensive drugs from them for the rest of your life. – – – even though it will shorten your life, and destroy your life, and your relationships – – – including your relationship with yourself. Only with God’s help, and a lot of personal effort, can people become free of those powerful mind-altering drugs. About 200 Americans die of fentanyl overdose each day, and the drug cartels don’t care, except that it leaves 200 less customers for them each day, so they work to lure hundreds more gullible people each day to try it and get hooked. Once a person is addicted to mind-altering drugs, he will lose his ability to keep any job, so they can’t even support their family or even themselves.
Questions to ponder on:
If someone wrote out all of the advantages on one side and disadvantages on the other side of a paper of any addictive or mind-altering drug, why would anyone be foolish enough to try their first mind-altering drug? – – – that leads them to the next, and the next, which puts them under the power of the devil and his minions? The devil and his minions hate it when a child of God chooses to use any common sense and reasoning and pondering about the decisions in their life. They want to peer-pressure you to make decisions on the spot, and without any careful research or data, because most people with a little intelligence, and without peer pressure, wouldn’t make horrible choices if they have checked out the truthful data and facts.
One thing that I love about God, is that He is always absolutely honest and trustworthy. He never ever makes a promise that He does not keep. I know that to be true!
Isn’t it wonderful to develop close friendships with children of God, who have also chosen to live by Relationship-Centered and Christ-centered principles such as:
1. Be completely honest with everyone in all of your dealings – – – so people can truly trust you.
2. Be kind and respectful toward everyone, not just toward the “popular” kids – – so you know you can trust them to also always be kind and respectful toward you, and be a true friend?
3. Serve others with a cheerful, giving, and unselfish heart – – so you know their love toward you and all children of God is genuine and real.
What percentage of people with an alcohol or drug addiction – – – when they go through their next big stress and “test” in life, – – – as everyone does, will fall back on their horrible drug and alcohol problem? Wouldn’t it be safer to choose to marry someone that has never had a drug or alcohol problem? And isn’t it the wisest choice for you to be committed to never ever taste of any mind-altering or addictive substances (or never again if you already have) if you want to enjoy truly trusting and loving relationships? When people are addicted to mind-altering substances; then others can’t trust them, and they sadly can’t even trust themselves to make good and wise decisions each day! However, if someone chooses at any age to be truly prayerful and committed to live according to the teachings of Jesus Christ for the rest of their life; they can overcome and get rid of all of their bad habits with their own best prayerful efforts and God’s help, and replace them with good habits. They can ask our Father in Heaven in sincere and humble prayer to help them to clearly see how much more joyful and productive their life and relationships can be without all addictive mind-altering substances, and ask God to help take away all of their addictions and desires for that garbage that does not belong in their amazing God-given body as a son or daughter of God.